Who, Where, and When Are You
Are you looking for answers to Life's Basic Questions? Are you undergoing a severe existential crisis? Have no fear; the Internet can help you! Want to know Who you are? Just dial Whoozy.
Lost track of Where you are? Go to Bing and ask "Where am I?" And for those who just must know When, trudge on over to the Death Clock to find out exactly when you are expected to die (and watch the seconds tick, tick, tick away).
I'm not making this up...
--RL
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